How to Have Fun at MLB Games When You're Not Much of a Baseball Fan

LONG STORY SHORT
It's not all about watching some guys try to hit a ball with a stick.

By Kristine McGowan

I love baseball—kind of. Truthfully, I love the idea of baseball more than the sport itself. It gives me the same warm, fuzzy feeling I get when I think of Christmas at my parents’ house or watching movies on Saturday mornings with my mom. (A League of Their Own is one of her favorites.) That’s because, with two diehard Los Angeles Angels fans for parents, I grew up surrounded by the sport.*

That said, when Jason told me he wanted to see a game at most of the Major League Baseball stadiums during our Big Trip, I can’t say I was thrilled.

I’m up for a few games every summer. (You can catch my family and me near left field in Angel Stadium two or three times a year.) But 25 games in a single season?** I expected to be bored out of my mind.

But we’ve hit twelve stadiums so far, and that hasn’t happened yet. I’ve even agreed to see multiple games at one stadium.

Have I been converted? Or am I unwell? Is this some mild version of Stockholm syndrome?

No, none of the above. While I haven’t fallen in love with baseball, I have found my own methods for enjoying these games.

If you’re like me and your loved ones insist on taking you to baseball games you didn’t even know were happening, keep on reading. You might find this useful.

1. If public transit isn’t an option, make someone drive you there.
A true baseball fan invited you along to this game, right? That’s nice, but if they really want you there, the least they can do is spare you the headache of parking at an MLB ballpark.

2. Sit in an area that gets lots of foul balls.
You can’t get bored if you’re fearing for your life!

3. Get some stadium food.
It can be pricey, but the eats at some stadiums are worth a few extra bucks, and you’re bound to get hungry with all the savory scents wafting around on field level. Get pizza from Dante’s Inferno at Progressive Field, a pit beef sandwich at Boog’s BBQ in Oriole Park, or—Jason’s favorite—a bottomless Slush Puppie at Great American Ball Park.

If you’re heading to Angel Stadium, though, don’t get your hopes up. I can confidently say the options there are limited.

The Crabfries at PNC Park and Skyline chili dogs at Great American Ball Park are delicious, too. (I swear, the chili’s under the cheese!)

4. Clap when other people clap, and don’t clap when they don’t.
You don’t know what’s going on, so you may as well ride the crowd’s mood. Or, if you want to make things spicy, ask your baseball-fan companion which team they’re rooting for, then root against their team.*** If their team loses, you get to rub it in. If their team wins, who cares? You sure don’t.

5. Look for the mascot.
Most MLB teams have a mascot to entertain fans between innings—and non-fans like you during innings. Some mascots give high fives, some start chants, and some dance with Kate Flannery from The Office when she’s catching a game in her hometown of Philly.

And some mascots... do this.

6. Better yet, don’t miss the character race.
The mascots aren’t the only costumed crusaders at MLB ballparks. Many stadiums have a themed character race halfway through the game, during which racers put on costumes and sprint around the park toward a finish line. My favorites have to be the Great Pierogi Race in Pittsburgh and the Racing Presidents in D.C.

7. Watch other people having fun.
Smiles are contagious, and baseball fan or not, you can’t deny that there are plenty of smiles to go around at MLB games. You don’t want to stare at your neighbors, though—you’re weird enough, knowing nothing about baseball—but you can catch tons of happy faces on the jumbotron. The kids are the best; when they see themselves on the screen, they lose their minds.

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* Not to mention a kick-ass mom who played baseball into my elementary-school years and a diligent dad who collects MLB memorabilia like someone’s paying him to do it.

** We hit two stadiums—T-Mobile Park and Oracle Park—last season, but we’re hitting 25 total stadiums this season.

*** I do not do this if the Angels are playing, though. My parents would disown me, and my husband would file for divorce.