VIEWPOINT: Carlsbad Caverns National Park

LONG STORY SHORT
​The cavernest cavern that ever caverned.

We’ve explored quite a few caves. Most of them fairly tight, with all the typical cave formations you’d expect. Carlsbad Caverns National Park also has the typical cave formations—but as the biggest cave we’ve ever seen, it has a lot of them.

NATURE: MIGHTY FINE
A Mind-Blowing First Impression

The biggest rooms in the caves we’ve visited usually were no larger than a hotel lobby, perhaps with vaulted ceilings. But in Carlsbad Caverns, the Big Room would be more appropriately named the Big Aircraft Hangar. Will Rogers once described it as “the Grand Canyon with a roof over it.” We wouldn’t quite say that, but compared to other cave systems, it might as well be.
Admittedly, the cavern leaves a first impression similar that of the Grand Canyon: it’s just so big. Caves aren’t supposed to be this big. They’re supposed to be cramped and claustrophobic, and they’re supposed to make tall people duck to avoid concussions. Carlsbad Caverns is more like the Superdome decorated with stalagmites and stalactites, as well as pools of water and wavy rock formations that look like curtains. As caves go, this one has everything you could imagine and plenty of space to store it.

EXPERIENCE: RESPECTABLE
A Well-Defined, Accessible Path Has Its Pros and Cons

Generally speaking, accessible trails are great. They allow people to experience surroundings they otherwise couldn’t, and they’re easy to navigate and not strenuous. The path inside Carlsbad Caverns is exactly this, aside from a steep but optional descent through the cave’s mouth. It’s paved and lit, and once you’re ready to leave, a convenient elevator saves everyone from making the 750-foot climb to the surface.
The downside, however, is that accessible trails tend to be clogged with people, some of whom don’t respect basic trail etiquette. We spent half of our visit marveling at the cavern; we spent the other half navigating around people who blocked the path with their aimless wandering or because they’d stopped in the middle of the path to take photos. It was like driving down a two-lane highway where people didn’t respect the passing lane. Or just ignored the lanes altogether.

VISITING: EASY
Going is the Hardest Part

Inside Carlsbad Caverns, nothing is difficult to find. The entrances are obvious, as is the path inside the cavern. But to reach the park, you have to drive through some of the most boring desert we’ve ever seen. It makes an hour feel like a day.

STUPIDITY INDEX
The Stupid Will Be Fine

At one point, this cave system’s steep drops and lack of light would have been lethal for The Stupid, but it’s harmless now. Frequent lighting and ever-present handrails make this park accessible and safe for everybody.

CATSBY’S TAKE
Undecided

The humans left me at the campground in Guadalupe Mountains National Park, which was windy but otherwise fine.